The Soscars

It’s awards season, The BAFTA’s, The BRIT Awards and Crufts all take place in the space of a few short week’s. One award however, eclipses them all. Tonight the 86th academy awards will take place at The Dolby Theatre, on Hollywood Boulevard. Some of the worlds most well known face, will gather for around 210 minutes, of red carpet interviews, dodgy acceptance speeches and that really awkward moment when the losers applaud the winners.

Here at “Oh When The” however we felt that that we’d do something for those who were more of the footballing persuasion rather than the film buff persuasion. So here come “The Soscars” awards for best original score (best goal), best supporting actress (best WAG), and  Best foreign language (Player)..

First up however is award for (Player with) Best Makeup and Hairstyling. The nominee’s are as follows:

Gaston Ramirez

Dani Osvaldo

Adam Lallana

And the SOSCA goes to… Dani Osvaldo. Although the Italian is currently on loan at European Giants Juventus, the panel unanimously agreed that it would be rude not to give the award to the Johnny Depp lookalike. Osvaldo would not look out of shape in “Pirates Of The Caribbean” With oodles of earrings and tattoos, along with his trade mark pony-tail and beard, One thing this self proclaimed “Striker” did bring to the Saints camp was style.Osvaldo1

Secondly comes the award for best original score (best goal). The nominees’s look like this:

Dani Osvaldo Vs Manchester City

Adam Lallana Vs Hull City

Rickie Lambert Vs Stoke City

And The SOSCA goes to… Dani Osvaldo! Osvaldo picks up his second award of the evening. Admittedly he only hit the back of the net 4 times during his short time at St Mary’s however who could forget this wonder striker. Osvaldo collected the ball brilliantly, then turned Vincent Kompany, various times leaving him sat on the floor, before chipping the keeper. Exquisite!

Next up is award for best supporting actress (Or best WAG). The nominees are:

Anita Lovren (Dejan Lovren’s wife)

Freya Wood (Jack Cork’s girlfriend)

Emily Jubb (Adam Lallana’s wife)

And The SOSCA goes to… Emily Jubb! Emily agreed to tie the knot early, So, if picked, Adam could play in the world cup, as there original date was the same as England’s World Cup opener against Italy in Manaus. The two were married in a secret location in Peele, Dorset.



And finally the last award of the evening is for Best Foreign Language (Saint). The nominee’s are:

Dani Osvaldo

Mauricio Pochettino

Gaston Ramirez

And The SOSCA goes to.. Mauricio Pochettino! The gaffer has been the butt of countless jokes from football fans, when it comes round to after the Southampton game on MOTD, and Mauricio presents his post match thoughts via a translator.

That rounds up The first ever SOSCA’s. I hope you’ve enjoyed it. COYR





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